Wife (in regards to her kicking my ass at Karaoke Revolution):
It's just because I know the words. It’s not I sound good.
Me: Great. I got my ass kicked by someone who can’t even
Wife (angry at Xbox not intrinsically knowing her desires
and acting to fulfill them): I put the movie in, why isn’t it playing?
Me: You just took the game disk out and put that one in without
shutting it off, rebooting, or even quitting the game.
Wife: Yeah, it didn’t like that.
Me. You have
to restart and then put the disk in.
Wife: It should know.
Me: Yeah, in high school I was always putting my calculator
on top on my math book, but my homework never got done.
Wife: That doesn’t make sense.
Me: My point exactly.
Wife (to Stef, who refused to sing): Don’t make me kiss you.
Wife (message left on my voicemail): Hello love, this is
your beautiful wife. . .
Me (letting my girl dog Steve back in the house): She was
out there a while, I hope she didn’t get laid.
Wife: I don’t think she’s in heat. Are her girl parts
Me: That’s none of my business!
Wife: You mean when we have a daughter you won’t. . .
Me: Arrrgh. (fingers in ears) Gross gross gross gross gross.