She sure is lucky she bagged me.

Seriously, I'm a catch.

Wife (crawling into bed, fumbling about in the dark. Don’t worry, it’s G-Rated.):Where are you?

Me: I died because you took too long in the bathroom.

Wife: Don’t joke about that, that’s the scariest thing to me, you dying.

Me: . . . What if I was undead?

Wife: Okay, that would be scarier.

Me: No, no no. What would be scariest is if I was dead tired.

Wife: . . .

Me: Instead of “Eeeeerrrrrgh BRAINS!” I’d be all “Gosh, I’m soooo tired. I could sleep forever.”

Wife: You are a dork.

Me: . . . and then, because I was so tired, not thinking straight, I do stuff like accidentally put the birds in the toaster, or leave a boot in the freezer. OOOoooOOOOOooo.

Wife: Shut up.

No comments: