Habits of mine that annoy the hell out of me:

1) Whenever I am finished with a meal at my mother’s house I place my fork and knife in an X across my plate.
2) I always mark the time and location when I see an armored car go by. For instance, today at 8:57 a.m. at the corner of Davis Lake Road and Saginaw I saw a red Guardian Armored van. This habit is much more incriminating now that I have written it down.
3) I have a hard time explaining computer principles to people without commandeering their keyboard and mouse and simply doing it for them.
4) I wince or even hide when embarrassing situations occur on television, even comedy sitcoms.
5) I never believe anything I am told until I verify it myself. On the surface, a healthy habit, but it comes off as arrogant when I am dealing with someone’s personal experience or area of expertise.
6) It is very hard for me to cross any street without breaking into a nervous run, no matter how deserted.
7) I obsessively check if my fly is down, unless it is, and then I only notice it hours later, normally after church.
8) Almost anything I hear reminds me of a song.
9) Whatever word salad I am currently using repetitively this month as an exclamatory phrase. In the past: “Marzipan briefcase,” “Monkey butler,” “Sweet fancy Moses.”

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