1 Hotdog (cheese suggested)
1 Drill through the potato center, lengthwise.
*I came up with this idea independently of anyone else. It may already exist, but those people are jerks.
This is the best model for government: "The
program that draws the shortest straw gets its
funding cut. Looks like it's you again,
|Natives like nothing more than to trick tourists |
into trying on a "visitors gourd", a special
ornament carefully cured in spiced taro root,
in order to give the honored guest "vigor of
movement" during dancing, which is said to
spontaneously occur shortly after adorning
the gourd. It is held in place with razor wire
Once a year, all the boys who are around the age of 16 undergo the Ritual of Manhood. There's the regular feasting, feats of strength, and dancing, but the unusual bit comes at the end, when the new men are welcomed as adults and are assigned their social class and duties.
A reed mat is brought out, with the tips of penis gourds sticking out the end, lined up to appear to all be of the same length. One by one, those who used to be mere boys go up and choose their koteka. At the end of the ceremony, they are lined up from longest gourd to shortest and given their life's assignment. Those with the longest gourds are sub-chiefs, those with middling-sized are hunters, all the way down to one unlucky individual, whose gourd barely fits over his terrified manhood.
He is the short gourd, the digger of latrine pits and one on whom babies spit. Even the yam-peelers laugh at him. His is a life of shame and despair.
|An optimistic rom-com.|