Cuberat Canary

My wife is fond of the USB Robot Owl, an adorable, but completely useless way of filling one of your USB ports.

I suggest an equally adorable and much more useful avian cyborg peripheral: The Cuberat Canary.

Early warning system that toxic levels of BS are present.

In much the same way that a miner's canary served as a rudimentary carbon monoxide detector (Alive = Safe, Dead = Ohshitrun), the Cuberat Canary constantly monitors your email client for smilies, unnecessary forwards, pointless meeting requests and personal messages sent via Reply to All.

When productivity and morale are within a custom safe zone, the canary cutely blinks, twitches its wings, or sings your iTunes playlist via a speaker in its chest (free Rammstein tracks included). If annoyance levels reach critical mass, it promptly mutes itself and flips over "dead".  After the employee has taken a mental-health smoke/shit break, it can be easily reset with the push of a button, automatically deleting all potentially offensive emails in the process.

I just need to pitch my idea to Brando.



rminard said...

How about a Firewire Fire Wire, for starting fires when all you've got handy out in the woods is your MacBook?

Jeremiah Britt said...

Dell already cornered the market on portable computing heating solutions: http://explodinglaptop.com/