Commissioned Art #2 and Errata

Velvet? Check. Droste Effect? Check. Smarmy? Check. Creepy? Check. By Jeremy Kraemer.
This is a low quality cellphone photo, which will have to do until Autumn lets me frame and hang it (a year and counting). It has everything I want in a portrait, and nothing Autumn wants.

Since it took me so long to post this, I'm including some other commissions from over the years, although I didn't pay for all of them.
High School Graduation All-Night Party,
circa 2000 by guy they hired.

We used to make a game of coming up with ridiculous
methods of killing yourself. Circa 2001, by Pete Deyo

I told Autumn how disturbing I found the phrase
in the caption to be. Circa 2005 by Autumn Britt.

I asked for a "Realistic TMNT" fight and specced it
out. This is pretty close. Circa 2009, by Zack Finfrock


Project: Personal "On Air" Signs

I've long believed that creative processes shouldn't be interrupted, but that it's hard to enforce this idea effectively and politely. This is my solution.
Not pictured: dowel and black acrylic paint
The cost break down was this:

Balsa wood pencil box, Christmas candle light, dowel: $1 each
Plexiglas: about 30¢ a section
Dowel: 80¢ for one to make about 12 boxes
Black acrylic paint: ~$2 for a huge bottle
Custom made vinyl stickers: $4 each with shipping

The process was fairly simple: throw away lid of pencil box, make hole for wire, paint it. Destroy Christmas candle light to get just the cord and the bulb. Put sticker on Plexiglas. Cut dowel to size, paint it, glue to Plexiglas. I also bought some of those circular light switches you can just put on the cord, common on lamps, but haven't installed them yet.

Lighter for size and fire hazard comparison
I learned a few things in the process.

I had ordered two-color vinyl stickers that were reversed so that they could be on the back of the glass and wouldn't get marred or peeled off by the dowel glued to the front. However, the process of having two colors requires them to overlap on the back, which created some unavoidable air bubbles around the outline of every character. If I decide to make more after these supplies are used up, I'll just get the black cutouts and put the money saved towards custom cut red-tinted Plexiglas.

I'll also probably splurge on actual $5 lamp kits so that the bulbs do a better job of illuminating the signs and the whole assembly doesn't have that cheap, dollar-store look. Longer cords would be nice too.

But, for prototypes, they look okay. Cost of each one right now is about $8 plus labor, so I don't think I'd be able to make them with the above better materials and still sell them at a reasonable price to make a profit, but I may do it anyway. Have you seen some of the prices on Etsy?

I'm giving the "PAINTING" one to Autumn and keeping the "RECORDING" one for myself (in case I ever get voice-over work again), but the three on the left are free to good homes. I'll install the little switch things if you'd like as well ("'BATIN'" already has one).

I have two more stickers of each type and can probably scrounge some more lights, so if anyone else wants one of them, tell me (doubtful). If anyone has ideas for other variations ("Gaming", "Brewing", "Working Out", "Just Go Away" ???), if and when I get more stuff I might add those to the list.

NOTE TO SELF: If you do make them to sell, call them "Porlock Repellents/Preventers".